Our Little Miracle

Every little baby is undeniably a great gift and an enormous blessing from Our Lord. But, with some babies, I think God allows certain things to make it even more clear to us what a true miracle and each life is.

I will never forget the day that we found out our second little munchkin was on the way! It was a beautiful Sunday last fall; gorgeous weather, blue sky, picture perfect day. That morning before Mass, we played in a flag football game (my first!).

Later that afternoon, we had some guests over to watch the Bears game. I remember having a suspicion that there was another little one on the way, and I snuck off to take a quick pregnancy test. FULLY expecting it to be negative, and thinking I was just crazy, I was shocked to see the little 'plus' sign come up strong and clear~ baby numero dos was already here! Of course I had to immediately pull Pat from the Bears game to share the good news, we were thrilled.

Soon we had our first appointment, and we found out the hcg levels were concerning and potentially indicative of an ectopic pregnancy. It was such a scary thought, and heartrending to think that this little one may never be brought to term! For the next week, we had serial blood tests and constant monitoring for abdominal pain and/or bleeding. That was such a long week! Beyond prayer, I really struggled with how to approach this possibility. Should I try not to think about it, and just take things as they come? Should I make a point to think about this little one as often as possible so I could pray for him as many moments as I could during his potentially very short life here on earth? It was so hard. Eventually, thanks to Kateri and the busyness of daily life, we ended up somewhere in the middle; praying whenever thought of this little one, but frequently distracted with little Kateri's joy and needs.

At the end of that hard week, we finally had an ultra sound and were able to see that the little one was right where he needed to be~ thanks be to God!

The next few weeks flew by and were packed with projects. Keeping busy with little Kateri really made time move quickly. Everything seemed to be going perfectly until one day, when I was about 12 weeks gestation. I was visiting with my mom and sister, and suddenly I realized I was starting to hemorrhage. There was so much blood, so much bright red blood. I was sure beyond doubt that we were losing the little one. It was devastating.

Pat immediately came home from work and we headed in to the doctor for an evaluation, and what I thought would be a confirmed miscarriage. So many people were praying and I appreciate those prayers so much~ they really helped us get through the next few very excruciating hours. We specifically asked for the intercession of St Faustina and the Divine Mercy, St Frances Cabrini and little Frances, Kateri's little cousin. We finally arrived at the doctors, and our doctor immediately assumed that everything was still going well with the pregnancy and that I was just exaggerating. Looking back, that attitude is so irritating! But at the time, it was a blessing, and restored the faintest glimmer of hope.

He really acted confident that the baby was still viable. I wanted to hope, but felt so guarded because I could not see how this much hemorrhaging could mean anything other then miscarriage. Thankfully, he was able to schedule an ultrasound almost immediately, and we walked over to the room, not daring to hope. I could not believe my eyes when I looked up at the screen and saw an active little one moving around, and the heartbeat going strong! It truly felt like a huge miracle!

It turned out I had a large sub-chorionic hemorrhage that had developed in the past week (the ultrasound the week prior showed nothing). I have absolutely no memory of learning about this in nursing school, though I must admit I have intentionally blocked so many pregnancy/childbirth complications so that I'm not in a constant state of anxiety! The doctor realized that I was not exaggerating, and I did feel slightly vindicated when I saw he used the word 'gushing' to describe the hemorrhage (ha human nature!). We were so so grateful, and driving home I could not barely wrap my mind around the fact that the little one was still here!

Well, this little one wasn't through with us yet. Several weeks later, we went in for another routine appointment, and were thrilled to hear that heartbeat again (best part of every doctor's visit!). A week or two later, we went to our next appointment. The doctor went to check the heartbeat . . . Nothing. He tried all positions, locations, more lube . . . silence. Pat and I shared a glance and still . . . silence. No heartbeat. It felt unreal and impossible. But still nothing.

The doctor pulled back, and said, "The stenographer is not here, so we cannot do an ultrasound. This can sometimes happen and the baby may still be viable. I'm going to have you come back in one week and we will check again."

Pat and I sat in stunned silence. An entire week of waiting! I felt numb. Looking back, I don't know why I didn't insist on going back the next day (seriously). It just didn't seem like a possibility. So we were back on our knees that next week! We had found the heartbeat so easily before, it just didn't seem possible that the little one was fine but the heartbeat impossible to find.

What a long week that was. I was so thankful (yet again) for Kateri and the distraction she provided. The nights were rough. Finally, at the end of that long long week, we went in to have another Doppler done. Within moments, we heard the loud, regular heartbeat of a little one! It was the most beautiful sound, and we were beyond grateful. What an enormous grace!

The remaining weeks of the pregnancy were (thankfully) without any unexpected incidents!

Last week, after a labor which went pretty much perfectly despite all my numerous worries (and there were A LOT of them), 8lbs 3 oz of squirming crying boy was placed on my chest. I couldn't believe I was finally holding this precious little one in my arms! Such a little miracle baby! There were so many times when I was certain beyond doubt that this day would never come. It has made me so thankful for this beautiful little life! Praise God!

 Sebastian Jude Grenier . . .

Look at that little chunk!!

He wants to be held RIGHT NOW! And some food too, please!


Proud Daddy!

 

 



So so happy and thankful to be holding this little miracle at long last! Thanks be to God and thank you to all who have prayed for us! We appreciate those prayers so much!