Sebastian's Birth Story

For Sebastian, I had a very strong gut feeling that he would come early.

(hahaha.)

So for the two weeks before his due date, every night I would fanatically clean everything in the house, set out all of Kateri's bags just in case, make sure the rabbits had extra food and extra water, the laundry was 100% caught up on, and all of the other myriad of things that needed to be 'done'. Every night as we went to bed, Pat and I would wonder if tonight is the night!

Well, we kept waking up in the morning with no sign this little guy was ready to meet the world. Talk about frustrating! Finally, here came the due date. I was absolutely certain we would not go over the due date, after all, no one in my family goes over their due date more than one day.

Hmm well, WE went over the due date one day, then another. We tried everything we could to try to get some action: eating tons of fresh pineapple, special teas, mopping the floors 5 million times (our hardwood has never been, and probably never will be that clean!) and lots of other things. Nothing worked!

We eventually had to schedule the non-stress test and biophysical profile to make certain the baby wasn't in distress etc. (What!?? I never EVER thought that we would have to be doing this testing!) But I figured scheduling it wasn't a big deal because he would surely come before the appointment.

He didn't.

So we went to the doctors appointment and all the tests checked out ok. I had never seen an ultrasound at 41 weeks gestation, and it is nothing like the cute profile pictures from 20 weeks. There is so little room left that it was almost impossible to even see his face, hands or feet, in fact, I couldn't see them at all.

We did find out that, while he was head-down (great!), he was posterior (definitely not what I wanted to hear).

And on the way out, we had to schedule our induction. Boo. Not what I wanted to do at all. We even had to schedule it before the 42 week point because the hospital was booked for days as far as inductions went. Not the best news we've ever gotten in the world. So we sat in the office and scheduled our induction.

On the way home, I talked to Amy Bookwalter. She was so encouraging and gave me a very detailed description of what to do to try to turn the baby. It was supposed to take an hour, and it took at least 25 minutes to describe what to do. Totally overwhelming. It just seemed like too much!

So, after a couple more days passed, I started to really worry. And dread getting the "So . . . how are you feeling?" texts! I really appreciated getting them, and then as I responded with the 'no action yet' I felt like it was cementing the FACT that this baby would never EVER be born, and I would continue gestating for the rest of my earthly life. PLEASE NO!

So the worry grew and these were the main things I was worrying over.

1. He was overdue. This meant that the likelihood of meconium was greatly increased. After all, Kateri had passed meconium and she had come before her due date; we had to have all the NICU people present at delivery and all the chaos that that entails. (It's really not that big of a deal, I just felt like it was. There were so many more people!)

2. He was overdue and the induction was scheduled and quickly approaching. After all our preparation and classes, I really really REALLY wanted to avoid induction. All I hear about induction contractions and their intensity made me seriously doubt the possibility (for me) to go non-medicated. I know there are some people who have done this, and I have so much respect for that, I just doubt my ability!) Also the complications and likelihood of needing a C-section are increased and all of that I just wanted to avoid if at all possible!

3. Because I was so certain that he was going to come early, or at least BY his due date, we had scheduled his Baptism for June 14th, which was the only Saturday my friend Father Peter would be able to do the Baptism until late August, and we really didn't want to wait that long! Well, soon I realized that if this baby didn't come by tomorrow, he would miss his own baptism.

4. He was posterior. I did what you should never ever do and started researching all the complications that can happen if the baby is posterior. Well, that is scary. And daunting, and please, for the love of all that is good (especially your own sanity) don't do it! After reading it, I felt like a C-section was inevitable. (Which truly is silly because some babies turn during delivery, and many of the ones that don't are still delivered healthily and no one even realizes they are posterior until they are actually born). But reading a bajillion horror stories and how many things can go wrong is not the way to encourage a calm, relaxed and unworried demeanor.

5. I finally did write a birth plan, but as I said before, it was so last minute that I had not had a chance to review it with any of my doctors. Not one. And, to make matters worse, I forgot to bring it to our last appointment. So none of them even knew that we were planning a non-medicated birth, let alone any of the particulars! I was even more worried about this because I had heard some horror stories of this OB practice and how they weren't exactly champions of non medicated delivery.

6. Like I said before, we were so sure that this baby would come early, that Pat told work that absolute latest that he would be coming back to work was Monday, June 23rd. If this little guy waited to come until his induction, Pat would have less than a week at home with me and the baby and Kateri (almost 16 months). After a very very rough recovery with Kateri's delivery, this was an incredibly stressful thought for me!

So, like Martha, I was "anxious and upset about many things." We prayed a lot, and were so busy that Tuesday, which always helps. That night, I scrubbed the floor on my hands and knees, which I have never done (mops are here for a reason), whew. I felt like Cinderella, and my knees HURT!

So many people were praying for us and I know those prayers were really powerful! That night we went to bed, praying and imploring that the labor begin that night. After all, if he didn't come by the next day, he would miss his own baptism.

We both slept peacefully through the night until I woke up about 5:00.

In tears.

I am not one to cry (usually) but Nothing was happening! We were going to have to cancel the baptism, be induced in two days, all this preparation and all the things we bought to help with the delivery, all the books we read, all for naught. So frustrating! Well, Pat was so good and positive and soon we both went back to sleep.

At about 7:00 I woke up, and felt wide awake so I got up to read. Pat and Kateri were still sound asleep, and the house was so quiet. After yelling at Wrigley to get off the couch (that dog!), I sat down and caught up on some blogs I was following (all the people who were expecting had already had their babies, even though I was due before many of them! not fair!).

And then, guess what! About 7:30 or so I had a very (oh so very) mild contraction. It was so mild I didn't even think it was real. Kateri's labor had started with contractions that were 1 minute and 30 seconds long and about 2 minutes apart, so I was expecting to start the same way. This one must be yet another Braxton Hicks.

BUT, 15 minutes later, there was another one, and then 15 minutes after that, another. They were so very easy and mild, though. It just didn't seem possible that they could be the real thing. So I kept reading!

Pat and Kateri woke up at 8:30~ I was so glad that they got to sleep in. We moseyed around the house, took showers, etc. By 9:30, I was more sure that this baby was coming! Thanks be to God! Even though the contractions were still so mild, they were getting a teeny bit stronger and were a bit closer together. YES! Hallelujah! It felt like the heavens were opening and the angels were singing!!

Pat started doing some work on the bathroom (he has been doing a million and one handyman jobs this week!) and I called my mom to come pick up Kateri! It was beyond exciting that this little guy could be coming! I still wasn't completely sure because each contraction was so mild and easy to talk through.

By 10:30 or 11:00 we decided to head in to the hospital because the contractions started getting closer together, and because some people in my family have had crazy one-contraction per hour for a few hours and then BAM ready to push labors. So, you never know! We were so blessed because we didn't hit any traffic since it was no longer rush hour! This was HUGE. We said the Rosary on the way in, and it was hugely comforting.

We grabbed our very heavy luggage and the giant exercise ball and headed in to the hospital. When we walked in to the hospital, the greeter was sure we were there for a hospital tour (ummm do people routinely bring luggage and birthing balls to those things? whatever, lady!) But we assured her that No, we were there to have a BABY.

At that point, I thought, "How horrible would it be if this is all false labor? What if we end up walking out of here in another 30 minutes? Ugggg. How mortifying!"

We went up to the third floor, checked in at the desk and they brought us to our room. After the initial checking in (which always takes longer then I think it will!), they checked around noon and I was at 5 cm. Great! He won't be late for his own baptism after all! Thanks be to God!

We also did remember to bring copies of our birth plan to the hospital. We gave some to our nurse. And then we found out that Dr A was going to be our doctor that day. She had been my least favorite of all the doctors (I had made this well informed judgment after only seeing her once), and I really didn't want her to be the one delivering. But oh well~ it was out of our hands (obviously!) and boy did God ever know what he was doing!

The nurse gave me a dose of antibiotics around 12:30 and strapped on the monitors to get a 20 minute strip on the baby. Well, you KNOW the contractions weren't bad at all, because it was as easy as pie to sit there in the bed. In fact, they were still so mild that I felt like I wasn't even having any. I kept watching the monitor hoping to see the elevation indicating a contraction. But thankfully, the contractions were real and the decelerations were in all the right places!

After that, the monitors came off, and I could walk around tethered to my antibiotics. And once those were complete~ freedom! I knew the next dose of antibiotics were due around 5:30, and so my goal was to have this baby before then!

The contractions started getting a bit stronger, and I asked the nurse to see how far along we had progressed. 7 cm. Ha! I then wished I hadn't asked because hello transition. I would just rather not know ahead of time that you are here. . .

Pat was amazing during the whole thing, and he really became crucial during the next bit. We had written a huge list of intentions to pray for during the labor (this list was awesome and really helped me get through each one). Pat would read an intention at the start of each contraction.

There were a few times when I felt so hot, I mean BOILING hot. We had these nifty garden pads (the kind you kneel on to pick beans . . . well I guess that's what you do, I have never used one . . . garden section at Walmart, pregnant peeps) and Pat could tell when I was feeling hot and would FAN me with them, and that felt sooo heavenly and really kept me cool.

Initially I would bounce on the exercise ball, but as the contractions got stronger, it was so much better to kneel on one of the garden pads and lean on the ball. Pat held this beautiful Holy Card from Father Peter's ordination, and it helped me focus and pray.

Dominican Saints FTW!

He also kept encouraging me to drink sips of water and ice chips. This was really important because I had completely underestimated how thirsty I would get!

I was expecting more back labor since the baby was posterior, but there wasn't much. When I did have some, Pat was great about applying counter pressure which helped immensely. In between contractions, I walked around and we talked.

We heard a baby being born next door and his sweet little cry! And about an hour later, we heard all the siblings of the new baby rushing in to the room and thrilled to see their newest addition! It was so precious and made me so excited to have more kids!

At this point, they needed another strip on the baby (they had forgotten for a while-no complaints here!-, to my understanding, hospital policy is to get a 20 minute strip every hour), and I was supposed to sit in bed. NOT HAPPENING. I tried and boy that lasted about 1 minute before I jumped right out. No thank you!

I was so thankful for the nurse! She didn't keep hounding me about the strip, she could tell this baby was coming soon and he was probably fine.

Then came some really strong contractions. And yes, agony definitely describes what those are like. They were something else! I remember Pat saying, "Just squeeze my hand!" and I said, "No way! I will break your fingers if I do!" and I have no doubt that that would have happened. It was at this point that an epidural started sounding nice!

I remember telling Pat, "This is pretty rough. Maybe I should just get the epidural!" And he said, "We can do whatever you want" (perfect thing to say to me at that point!).

Even at this point, I felt totally lucid and didn't find that I needed to breathe a certain way. There was only once or twice that Pat needed to say, "Don't forget to relax." or "Breathe for the baby!"

In some of the birth stories I read, women talked about becoming 'primal' at the end of labor, and making guttural noises, blah blah. I kept thinking, 'I really don't want to do that. When will I get to that stage?"

And as the contractions were getting harder and harder, I remember thinking, how much longer is this going to last? How much more of this can I handle? Then Dr A came in, and let me tell you, I was so wrong about her. She was amazing. She was so encouraging and so positive. She read the birth plan and followed everything without us ever having to review it with her, she never gave us any problems about ANYTHING. I could not have asked for a better doctor. I asked her to check my progress . . .

9 3/4 cm! YES! (I also thought, 9 3/4 cm is that even a thing? how can you really be precise enough to feel the difference of that last 1/4 cm?!)

And my water was still intact. and bulging. and seriously, Dr A can you just break my water??

So she did. . . and GUESS WHAT! there was absolutely no meconium! I couldn't believe it! Thanks be to God!

And then she said, "Ok, so now you can push whenever your body tells you to!" Pat handed her the special Weleda Arnica Massage Oil (which is amazing and smells great and really works, I can't recommend this stuff enough).

And I had that slight break that some women in various birth stories mention.

And then WHOOOWHEEE! Hello, pushing contraction! That was something else. The only annoying thing was our door wouldn't close all the way. It would sort of close, but the latch wouldn't catch. But oh well! There was nothing we could do about it now! The room was so much quieter, and everyone (doctor, nurse, NICU nurse and tech) was so nice and encouraging and made me feel like a hero! "You can do it!" "You are doing an incredible job!" "Keep it up!" "almost there!" "We can see the baby!!"

I asked if he was still posterior or if he had turned, and he was still posterior.

There were a few more of those intense vise-like contractions, and it was crazy to work with them. The 'Ring of Fire' I had heard about really didn't feel like that for me, I'm sure the Arnica oil and Dr A are really to thank for that.

After about 15 minutes from the first push, our beautiful son took his first breath and we saw his face for the first time! Dr A immediately put him on my chest, and I said, "Aww here's the little guy at last!" and Dr A said, "He is NO 'Little' guy!!".

What a beautiful, joyous, wonderful thing to see that face for the first time! Happy birthday, my handsome little Sebastian Jude, I thank God that you are here at last!

 

I got to hold him for a long time, the cord stayed attached for even longer than I asked. Everything was just perfect. Even though he was delivered posterior and was so much bigger then Kateri at birth, I only had a first degree tear. I was going to try to push on my left side, but that is not what my body wanted at ALL when delivery time came. Dr. A told me she really felt that the whole labor and delivery was 'ideal'. That, my friends, is thanks to YOUR prayers!!

My new favorite doctor

And let me tell you, my recovery has been exponentially better and easier and quicker. I would go through that labor and delivery every day for a week to avoid the recovery I had with Kateri, and that is no exaggeration. I was up and walking in no time, ravenously thirsty, really not that hungry, and able to sit Indian Style right away (ha! I don't know why this seems like a big deal to me but it does!). Walking was no problem. Now, two weeks after, I really feel completely recovered and the difference is night and day from how I felt after sweet little Kateri's birth. I know that's not the case for everyone, but I am so thankful to know that non-medicated is the way to go for me (barring any complications, of course).

On the way home, feeling great :)

So that is the story! Isn't it amazing how God showed me that each and every one of my fears were groundless? Sebastian even made it to his Baptism, and was less then 72 hours old! Thanks be to God!

Why I Opted to Try No Epidural This Time Around . . .

Disclaimer: I actually really loved  Kateri's labor and delivery. Everything about it was so exciting and it was one of the most thrilling, fulfilling and joyful days of my life.  Nothing can possibly compare to the excitement and extreme happiness of seeing Pat holding my beautiful little girl for the first time. I got an epidural almost as soon as possible after I got to the hospital and had no serious complications or problems related to it. I truly have nothing against medicated births, and may opt for that in the future (who knows?).

                                        Kateri and I right after she was born!

SO, why would I want to do anything different with baby numero dos?

Actually, even the possibility of trying something different was not on my radar until the end of pregnancy. I was really inspired by Mary who was due one month before me and opted to prepare for a non-medicated delivery.

 My aunt told her, "The thing is, you just never know if the epidural will take. So you might as well prepare for a non-medicated delivery, and then if at any point you need it, just go for the epidural! But that way you will be prepared regardless."

After hearing Mary's story (non-medicated delivery! yay!), and thinking about the whole thing for a few days, then weeks, I decided to (finally!) go to the library. I love the library, BUT I hadn't been there in so long that even my library card had expired. Yes, it had been forever! That is what having just one kiddo will do to you. Or me, maybe it's just me. As luck would have it, I ran in to my aunt at the library. She even held Kateri so I could pick out some books! Awesome. And she was so positive and sure that I could do it. It was inspiring!

So I grabbed a pile of books, renewed my library card, and headed out. There was so little time to read because of all the things on my pre-baby to do list. And Kateri. And it was SO HARD to get into the books. So I ordered some other books that had high reviews on Amazon and devoured those. And any and all birth stories I could find on various blog link-ups and web sites. And thought and researched more, and then thought some more.

Finally, after a lot of reading, and encouragement from a lot of people (Anne, Jess, Mary, Danielle, Aunt Betty~ I'm looking at YOU!) I decided that YES! I will at least try non-medicated. Here's why:

1. With Kateri, my contractions started less then two minutes apart. BAM! We left for the hospital well within an hour of the first contraction, and by the time we got to the hospital I was 4 to 5 cm dilated! Things were moving. The whole labor was only 12 hours, BUT my guess is it would have gone quicker had I not gotten the epidural. So, for a quicker delivery.

2. A quicker delivery would be quite nice for obvious reasons (hello pain), but ALSO, because I am group B strep positive, I get the wonderful IV antibiotics during labor. I got two doses (which is what is considered ideal) with Kateri's delivery. Afterwards, I got a huge infection related to those antibiotics. It took over six weeks before it was eradicated! And it really affected breastfeeding. So, shorter deliver, hopefully only ONE dose of antibiotics, to decrease the likelihood of another roaring infection.

3. So with Kateri, I actually felt like I was ready to push for four hours. FOUR. HOURS. That is not an exaggeration. I kept calling in the nurse and saying~ I'm ready!! She encouraged me to just "Relax and let the baby do the work." Well, this definitely did make pushing easier. Finally, after four hours of really and truly thinking I was ready, two pushes and she was here. Yes. Pretty much less then ten minutes from Dr C walking in the room to seeing that beautiful baby girl for the first time. Now, only two pushes is nothing to complain about, and I have no problems with that. But for months and months afterwards, I had some issues that Dr C was sure were due to the four hours of being ready to push, and not pushing. I definitely wanted to avoid a repeat of ANY of that, if at all possible!

4. No terrible tearing with Kateri, though everything I read and all studies I saw referenced specifically said the risk and severity of tearing is decreased with no epidural. Yes. Please.

5. Curiosity. People have been doing this sans meds for . . . how many years?!! So how will I ever know what it's like unless I try it?

6. I learned an interesting fact from Amy Bookwalter (who is an amazing doula and offers some fantastic classes on labor and delivery, whether you're looking for non-medicated or epidiral). She said, regardless of how long labor lasts, the average time that a woman is actually having contractions is THREE HOURS. Same amount of time that Christ hung on the Cross suffering for my sins. Interesting, right?! I read quite a few blogs where women wrote down a bunch of intentions to pray for during labor, and I was really attracted to that idea. My life is so posh when I think about it (AC, hot and cold water at any moment, a fridge, freezer, washing machines, dishwashers, all these conveniences), it seems like a blessing to have a little suffering to offer up. It also makes labor much less daunting to think of three hours rather than thinking of facing excruciating pain for 19 hours. We get breaks!

7. RECOVERY. So, after doing quite a lot of asking around, some people find that recovery is easier after an epidural and some people find it is easier without one. I realized the only way to know which category I fall in to is to try both! Recovery with Kateri was rough, so rough. I have no doubt that there were a lot of factors that played into that (serious breastfeeding issues, infection, first baby) but I wondered if the epidural may have played any part in that. So I was faced with the decision to try or forever wonder if no epidural would make recovery easier.

So, those are the main reasons I decided to try a non-medicated delivery. As Sebastian's due date approached and then passed, and then day after day went by, I became more and more anxious that induction was looming in our future and, with that, the inevitable (to me) epidural.

Our Little Miracle

Every little baby is undeniably a great gift and an enormous blessing from Our Lord. But, with some babies, I think God allows certain things to make it even more clear to us what a true miracle and each life is.

I will never forget the day that we found out our second little munchkin was on the way! It was a beautiful Sunday last fall; gorgeous weather, blue sky, picture perfect day. That morning before Mass, we played in a flag football game (my first!).

Later that afternoon, we had some guests over to watch the Bears game. I remember having a suspicion that there was another little one on the way, and I snuck off to take a quick pregnancy test. FULLY expecting it to be negative, and thinking I was just crazy, I was shocked to see the little 'plus' sign come up strong and clear~ baby numero dos was already here! Of course I had to immediately pull Pat from the Bears game to share the good news, we were thrilled.

Soon we had our first appointment, and we found out the hcg levels were concerning and potentially indicative of an ectopic pregnancy. It was such a scary thought, and heartrending to think that this little one may never be brought to term! For the next week, we had serial blood tests and constant monitoring for abdominal pain and/or bleeding. That was such a long week! Beyond prayer, I really struggled with how to approach this possibility. Should I try not to think about it, and just take things as they come? Should I make a point to think about this little one as often as possible so I could pray for him as many moments as I could during his potentially very short life here on earth? It was so hard. Eventually, thanks to Kateri and the busyness of daily life, we ended up somewhere in the middle; praying whenever thought of this little one, but frequently distracted with little Kateri's joy and needs.

At the end of that hard week, we finally had an ultra sound and were able to see that the little one was right where he needed to be~ thanks be to God!

The next few weeks flew by and were packed with projects. Keeping busy with little Kateri really made time move quickly. Everything seemed to be going perfectly until one day, when I was about 12 weeks gestation. I was visiting with my mom and sister, and suddenly I realized I was starting to hemorrhage. There was so much blood, so much bright red blood. I was sure beyond doubt that we were losing the little one. It was devastating.

Pat immediately came home from work and we headed in to the doctor for an evaluation, and what I thought would be a confirmed miscarriage. So many people were praying and I appreciate those prayers so much~ they really helped us get through the next few very excruciating hours. We specifically asked for the intercession of St Faustina and the Divine Mercy, St Frances Cabrini and little Frances, Kateri's little cousin. We finally arrived at the doctors, and our doctor immediately assumed that everything was still going well with the pregnancy and that I was just exaggerating. Looking back, that attitude is so irritating! But at the time, it was a blessing, and restored the faintest glimmer of hope.

He really acted confident that the baby was still viable. I wanted to hope, but felt so guarded because I could not see how this much hemorrhaging could mean anything other then miscarriage. Thankfully, he was able to schedule an ultrasound almost immediately, and we walked over to the room, not daring to hope. I could not believe my eyes when I looked up at the screen and saw an active little one moving around, and the heartbeat going strong! It truly felt like a huge miracle!

It turned out I had a large sub-chorionic hemorrhage that had developed in the past week (the ultrasound the week prior showed nothing). I have absolutely no memory of learning about this in nursing school, though I must admit I have intentionally blocked so many pregnancy/childbirth complications so that I'm not in a constant state of anxiety! The doctor realized that I was not exaggerating, and I did feel slightly vindicated when I saw he used the word 'gushing' to describe the hemorrhage (ha human nature!). We were so so grateful, and driving home I could not barely wrap my mind around the fact that the little one was still here!

Well, this little one wasn't through with us yet. Several weeks later, we went in for another routine appointment, and were thrilled to hear that heartbeat again (best part of every doctor's visit!). A week or two later, we went to our next appointment. The doctor went to check the heartbeat . . . Nothing. He tried all positions, locations, more lube . . . silence. Pat and I shared a glance and still . . . silence. No heartbeat. It felt unreal and impossible. But still nothing.

The doctor pulled back, and said, "The stenographer is not here, so we cannot do an ultrasound. This can sometimes happen and the baby may still be viable. I'm going to have you come back in one week and we will check again."

Pat and I sat in stunned silence. An entire week of waiting! I felt numb. Looking back, I don't know why I didn't insist on going back the next day (seriously). It just didn't seem like a possibility. So we were back on our knees that next week! We had found the heartbeat so easily before, it just didn't seem possible that the little one was fine but the heartbeat impossible to find.

What a long week that was. I was so thankful (yet again) for Kateri and the distraction she provided. The nights were rough. Finally, at the end of that long long week, we went in to have another Doppler done. Within moments, we heard the loud, regular heartbeat of a little one! It was the most beautiful sound, and we were beyond grateful. What an enormous grace!

The remaining weeks of the pregnancy were (thankfully) without any unexpected incidents!

Last week, after a labor which went pretty much perfectly despite all my numerous worries (and there were A LOT of them), 8lbs 3 oz of squirming crying boy was placed on my chest. I couldn't believe I was finally holding this precious little one in my arms! Such a little miracle baby! There were so many times when I was certain beyond doubt that this day would never come. It has made me so thankful for this beautiful little life! Praise God!

 Sebastian Jude Grenier . . .

Look at that little chunk!!

He wants to be held RIGHT NOW! And some food too, please!


Proud Daddy!

 

 



So so happy and thankful to be holding this little miracle at long last! Thanks be to God and thank you to all who have prayed for us! We appreciate those prayers so much!