A happy half birthday to K-bear!

August 25th and Kateri is a year and a HALF! Today, as I was attempting to straighten up with a fussy two month old in my arms, I couldn't help but look at Kateri "helping me" and realize how much she has really grown up.

 

She is getting taller and slimmer and losing that baby face and chub that I love so much. She is still my little baby, but it is sometimes so hard to see her growing so fast. I have found myself doing something that I always swore I would never ever do.

 

I actually call her "baby" sometimes. Yes. I admit it.

 

As in, "Come on, Baby K! Time to heard down the stairs!"

 

~or~

 

"Ok, Baby~ time to climb up in your high-chair!"

 

~or~

 

"You can figure that out, baby, just keep trying."

 

I always and forever promised myself I would reserve that word for only those little ones a few months old and younger, and even then would never refer to them directly as 'baby', but only their name or nickname. Self imposed rule #37,456 that I have broken since becoming a mom!

 

But, I must say, I am really and truly glad that I call her this sometimes. After all, she is still so little! And, especially with another little munchkin who came when she was just 15 months, it is really important to remind myself that, while I ought to expect a lot out of her, it is just as important not to expect too much and to just let her be her age. This is a constant struggle for me. How to strike a balance between holding her to high standards and realizing and expecting her to act like she is 18 months.

 

For instance, how do I know she is being wilfully disobedient? Which battles are worth fighting? Is she at a stage where she should just be redirected? Is she old enough to understand timeout? What sorts of play should I encourage? Should I actively 'play' with her all the time and/or feel guilty when I don't?

 

Ugg! I could go on and on! I imagine most parents (especially moms) struggle with these questions (and lots more)~ especially the balance between mercy and justice and how they play out practically in the whole parenting sphere.

 

Today, Kateri really REALLY wanted to hold Sebastian.

 

This love of her brother has been a very very gradual development. While she often wants to shower him with kisses (which she reserved for ONLY him and would refuse to give any to Pat or me for the longest time, despite all our best efforts of coaxing one-- JUST ONE-- out of her), all other forms of love and attachment have been completely absent. Instead, she prefers affection of the body-slamming, pushing, poking ears and eyes, shoving off mommy's lap, patting- quickly turning into hitting variety.

 

So I was very (very very VERY) leery about this new extreme desire to hold her little brother. But she is a year and a half today! And she wanted to so desperately!

 

So, I very carefully placed him in her lap . . .

 

`

 

 

And she was beyond thrilled!

 

 



Sebastian doesn't even look petrified!

It was really really moving to me to see how happy and excited she was to hold her brother.

She didn't want to let him go either, and was very unhappy with me once I did eventually take him back after she pulled him over backwards, laughing all the way. But, after quickly redirecting her, she stopped her fussing and moved on to something else. So, for this case at least, the redirecting works!

Yet another one of Kateri's big wet kisses. Sebastian is like, "C'mon mom, why do you keep letting her do this?!" Trust me, kid, at this point in your life, you prefer kisses to body slamming and biting. That may change one day. But for now, just trust me on that one."

So, today is the feast of St Louis IX of France. His mother famously told him, "I would rather see you dead at my feet then commit a mortal sin."

!!!!!

Can you imagine saying that to your children? It seems so blunt, but when you think about mortal sin and what it does to the soul, you realize she is really right. Her small son Louis really took what she said to heart, and later wrote to his own son some beautiful words of advice.

This is a very small excerpt:

"Dear son, since I desire with all my heart that you be well instructed in all things, it is in my thought to give you some advice in writing. For I have heard you say, several times, that you remember my words better than those of any one else.

Therefore, dear son, the first thing I advise is that you fix your whole heart upon God, and love Him with all your strength, for without this no one can be saved or be of any worth.

You should, with all your strength, shun everything which you believe to be displeasing to Him. And you ought especially to be resolved not to commit mortal sin, no matter what may happen and should permit all your limbs to be hewn off, and suffer every manner of torment , rather than fall knowingly into mortal sin."

If you'd like to read more about this saint, Tom Cole has some great information and the rest of St Louis words of advice to his son on his blog. I recommend it :)

And, here is a cheers to napping time! And the pleasures of writing with just a two month old!

About 546 times easier then writing with a toddler around :)